Empathy is not Sympathy

Hi All, I continue to witness how many people confuse empathy with sympathy.  They are not the same. Just the other day, I was having a conversation with a high-level law enforcement leader.  I mentioned the value and importance of empathy for Law Enforcement, Police, and Security Professionals.  He quickly nodded, affirming that he agreed.  Then he made a statement where he explicitly made synonymous … Continue reading Empathy is not Sympathy

How & Why to Be UnTriggerable in Conflict

  Hi All, We’ve all been there.  Someone with whom we’re dealing gives us a look, calls us an asshole, or simply walks away in a disrespectful manner while we’re talking to them. Or some variation of dismissive, insultive, disrespectful behavior.  As a Contact Professional (e.g., Law Enforcement, Security, Parking Enforcement, etc.), it is our duty to maintain our professional behavior despite provocations from others.  … Continue reading How & Why to Be UnTriggerable in Conflict

The Big DL & GJT on How to Save the World

Hi All, It’s funny how two seemingly disparate voices can see and speak the same truth. “In our quest for happiness and the avoidance of suffering, we are all fundamentally the same, and therefore equal. Despite all the characteristics that differentiate us – race, language, religion, gender, wealth and many others – we are all equal in terms of our basic humanity.”  ~ Tenzin Gyatso, … Continue reading The Big DL & GJT on How to Save the World

Dignity, Respect & Procedural Justice

Treating all persons with dignity and respect is the fundamental ethic of relating to, and behaving toward, other human beings (and indeed all life).  It is also the foundational principle of procedural justice, that is, how Law Enforcement relates to the public it serves, how the quality of this interaction shapes how the public views Law Enforcement, and how the public (more) willingly obeys the … Continue reading Dignity, Respect & Procedural Justice

The Last Word

  Hi All, Please see this brief article targeted at a leadership audience.  As the author of that article makes clear, getting the last word when involved in a verbal retort with someone is an ego-boost.  The ego, in its drive to be correct, wants the last word, and we often find ourselves doing whatever it takes to get it. For Law Enforcement, Public Safety, … Continue reading The Last Word

A Baseline Strategy for all De-Escalation

Hi All, For the Contact Professional, it is vital that s/he gets and maintains rapport with others, all the while remaining physically safe. How do you get a rapport with others, particularly those in crisis? Two things constitute a fundamental baseline and are the very foundation of any non-escalatory and de-escalatory efforts.  With these two things in place, non-escalation and de-escalation efforts will have the … Continue reading A Baseline Strategy for all De-Escalation

Our Responsibility as Global Human Beings

  Hi All, I recommend this article to all contact professionals.  Whether you are a law enforcement officer, mediator, healthcare professional, politician, or trainer in conflict management/resolution/transformation, you will gain much from this interview with the inimitable author, anthropologist, and negotiation expert, William Ury.  Go here for the interview. William speaks in this interview about the power of the mediator, as witness and catalyst, to … Continue reading Our Responsibility as Global Human Beings

Sufism (The Good Guys): An Antidote to ISIS?

Hi All, In Verbal Defense & Influence (VDI), we speak about the importance of the social contract of a group of people, whether this group is a family, an organization, or even a nation.  When I study social contracts, what becomes evident is that, in nations, social contracts are overturned, sometimes by necessity, to save lives and to improve the quality of everyone’s life. ISIS is … Continue reading Sufism (The Good Guys): An Antidote to ISIS?

Chief Harry P. Dolan – An Amazing Experience

Hi Everyone, I recently had the privilege of participating in a whole day of training with Retired Police Chief of Raleigh, NC, Harry P. Dolan.  What an amazing experience it was! His subject matter expertise spans the full gamut of verbal de-escalation strategies.  He covers everything having to do with creating the very best public servants. He does an amazing job at conveying the roots (Aristotle’s … Continue reading Chief Harry P. Dolan – An Amazing Experience